Family's birthday for me...
Mom: You coming over, Ohma? Me: Yeah, unless you don't want to cook. Mom: It's you birthday. We might as well celebrate. We do everybody else. Me: Okay, I'll be there. Sep 2017
Me: I better go, mom. I have laundry to finish.
Mom: You should do your laundry on Friday when you get home from work. Then on Saturday clean house, do you shopping, get thing done. Then on Sunday, you can relax and just let everything hang. But, I know you always busy, Ohma... You have too many friend. I have no friend. I get a lot of shit done. May 2014
Watching a show called 'Beat Bobby Flay'
TV: Winner is.... Bobby Flay Mom: What?!! The other guy was better. Me: Mom, it's called Beat Bobby Flay... it's already tilted to Bobby winning. Mom: I know, Ohma, but he should let other people win. He will always have show... let other people win, too. Mom may be a conservative but she's a liberal at heart. Feb 2017
Me: Mom, do you know what that animal is?
Mom: Koala, I used to have one when I was a little girl. Me & Brian: In Thailand?!?! Mom: It was stuffed. Me & Brian: Ohhhhh.... Mom: When I was 12 this man came into my family's restaurant from Australia. When he went home he send me big box of stuff and the koala. Me: Awwww, how sweet. Did you carry it everywhere with you? Mom: No, Ohma... it was real but dead. You know, stuffed. Me & Brian: What?!?! Jan 2017 Photo: badly stuffed koala (CC BY-SA 2.0) by See Inside
I won't eat eel, Ohma. When I was a little girl I was out looking for some food. In Thailand, there no foodstamps... you have to go get you food. Two men were fishing with a net, you know, one push the fish to the other and they catch in net and empty it out. The man pushing fish he grab eel... Electric eel, Ohma! He (bzzz bzzz bzzz) I feel so bad, Ohma... I cry.
Did he die? No, but I never eat eel. I don't like anything like that. No snake either. Oct 2014 Photo from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Electric_eel_CAS.jpg Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported
I don't eat frogs either, Ohma. You know why? 'Cause when you kill them you have to hit them in the head. When you hit them, Ohma, they screeeeam... like a little kid. My mom, she kill those frogs, Ohma, and I cry, and cry. I'm just a little girl, like 4 and my mom, she bonk me on the head and ask me why I cry. I say "Don't you feel sorry for them?" She say, "No, I'm hungry."
My mom make me go get frog from market, and they wrap a string around the stomach and you carry it home that way, like a purse, Ohma. I drop it with my mom and then I go away. I never eat it, Ohma. But one day, I decided I was going to eat one. So I went to the market and carried frog home and I hit it, Ohma. It scream and scream. You know what happen? I let it go. Haha. When I have to go get fish my mom say, "Buy the live one." I make the market kill it so I don't have to watch my mom do it at home or I never eat, Ohma, never. Good thing I never watch cow or pig killed. I be little tiny, skinny thing. Oct 2014 Mom says this picture is accurate. Photo from http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kob_Thanin_Market.jpg Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported
Mom: Hi Ohma. Happy Birthday.
Me: Thanks Mom. How are you today? Mom: Good. How old you now? 49? Me: Yep... Wait, let me check. Oh, Facebook says I'm 47. Mom: 47?! That's good, Ohma. You feel 47? Me: I don't know what 47 is supposed to feel like but I don't think so. Mom: I don't feel 65. I still walk. Still talk. Still have fun, Ohma. Me: Yep. Me too. I love you, mom. Mom: I love you too, Ohma. Sept 2014
Ever since I introduced my mom to Netflix, she has been gobbling up TV series after TV series. She is currently on Season 8 of Dexter.
*Spoiler alert* Mom: Ohma, I'm almost done with Dexter. Me: Wow, that was fast, mom. Do you like it? Mom: Yeah, but I don't think Hannah is good for Dexter. Me: Mom... she's a murderer... just like Dexter. Mom: Ohma...(exasperated)... he only kill bad people. Me: Mom, he cuts people up into pieces. He still kills people. Mom: Whatever.... I don't like that Hannah. She not good people. She is going to HATE the end. Oct 2014
The Sin City Bounty radio show featured their moms in episode 5. Elexia's mom wanted a pseudonym like the rest of the girls had and decided on "Petra the Sex Expert." To listen to the full 1 hour show, CLICK HERE.
Stay tuned for more funny stuff from Petra, the Wise. |
About PetraPetra is Ohma's mom. They're very close and often have quite candid conversations. The name "Petra" was born when Ohma's mom needed a pseudonym for Ohma's radio show. She decided on "Petra the Sex Expert."
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