Photo: The Coronation of King Rama X B.E. 2562 (A.D. 2019) by Tris_T7 - Own work
พระราชพิธีบรมราชาภิเษก พุทธศักราช 2562
CC BY-SA 4.0
My brother owns a local store that sells jerseys, hats, heychains, and more featuring sports teams. The Golden Knghts, UNLV, NBA, NFL, etc.
Mom: Oh! Ohma! I got card.
Me: What did you get a card for?
Mom: I was at the store getting some wine and the lady asked me for ID. She make my day, Ohma.
Me: That's great mom.
Mom: Then at work, some man in the parking lot tell me "Oh... You so pretty... Mucho pretty... Mucho this... Mucho that..." I yell in the store, "Javier, don't sell this man anymore beer. He's drunk."
Mom: These writers piss me off, Ohma.
Me: What writers?
Mom: They burn down school.
Me: Oh, rioters. The ones protesting that Milo guy.
Mom: Why they have to destroy they school? They should just shoot him. He never talk again.
Me: Yeah... that guy is pretty bad, mom.
Mom: Then he should be shot.
Me: You can't shoot a guy because some people thinks he's a bad man.
Mom: Ohma, If I'm a bad person, talk sheet about people, treat people bad... then kill me, too. There is evil in me. You don't want to keep evil people around.
Family's birthday for me...
Mom: You coming over, Ohma?
Me: Yeah, unless you don't want to cook.
Mom: It's you birthday. We might as well celebrate. We do everybody else.
Me: Okay, I'll be there.
Me: I better go, mom. I have laundry to finish.
Mom: You should do your laundry on Friday when you get home from work. Then on Saturday clean house, do you shopping, get thing done. Then on Sunday, you can relax and just let everything hang. But, I know you always busy, Ohma... You have too many friend. I have no friend. I get a lot of shit done.
Watching a show called 'Beat Bobby Flay'
TV: Winner is.... Bobby Flay
Mom: What?!! The other guy was better.
Me: Mom, it's called Beat Bobby Flay... it's already tilted to Bobby winning.
Mom: I know, Ohma, but he should let other people win. He will always have show... let other people win, too.
Mom may be a conservative but she's a liberal at heart.
President Barack Obama and celebrity chef Bobby Flay grill steak, corn and barbeque chicken at the Kick Off Young Men's Barbeque on the South Lawn of the White House, June 19, 2009. (Official White House Photographer Samantha Appleton)
Me: Mom, do you know what that animal is?
Mom: Koala, I used to have one when I was a little girl.
Me & Brian: In Thailand?!?!
Mom: It was stuffed.
Me & Brian: Ohhhhh....
Mom: When I was 12 this man came into my family's restaurant from Australia. When he went home he send me big box of stuff and the koala.
Me: Awwww, how sweet. Did you carry it everywhere with you?
Mom: No, Ohma... it was real but dead. You know, stuffed.
Me & Brian: What?!?!
Photo: badly stuffed koala (CC BY-SA 2.0) by See Inside
I won't eat eel, Ohma. When I was a little girl I was out looking for some food. In Thailand, there no foodstamps... you have to go get you food. Two men were fishing with a net, you know, one push the fish to the other and they catch in net and empty it out. The man pushing fish he grab eel... Electric eel, Ohma! He (bzzz bzzz bzzz) I feel so bad, Ohma... I cry.
Did he die?
No, but I never eat eel. I don't like anything like that. No snake either.
Photo from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Electric_eel_CAS.jpg
Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported
Petra is Ohma's mom. They're very close and often have quite candid conversations. The name "Petra" was born when Ohma's mom needed a pseudonym for Ohma's radio show. She decided on "Petra the Sex Expert."